Dear Dynah: My neighbor's dog is in love with me

dear_dynah.jpg

Every week our sassy advice columnist Dynah offers our loyal customers sage advice about all that ails them. Got problems? Write to Dynah


Dear Dynah, 

I think my neighbor's dog  is in love with me. Like, in human love. He's been watching me. He tries to make me laugh, and it works. (He's a  basset hound- a natural goofball.) Plus, he remembered my birthday this week by leaving a trail of tulips and slobber down my walk. Believe me, I'm flattered but, I can NOT date a dog. (My mom had a hard enough time with the Marine Biologist!) How do I let him down and maintain a good relationship with my neighbor/his owner?

- Barking up the wrong tree in Bakersfield


OKAY NOW Barking, 

I got one word honey and the word is WOOF. As in, major WOOF situation.Cesar Millan that thang! Get down on all fours and tell that dog you will bite him if he hits on you again. And if your neighbor gives you any guff, well,  you gotta bite him too. It's like I always say: We're people. We don't date dogs. 

Now THAT's how it is, 

- Dynah

*DISCLAIMER:

The views of Dynah don't always align with the views/general tone of The Dynasty. But sometimes it's CRUCIAL to have a mean, sassy friend.