Dear Darlings,
We hope this finds you shakin’ hips and gettin’ tips amidst the scintillating month of 🪇¡JULY CARAMBA!🪇! There’s a new moon coming tomorrow and it’s apparently prime time to manifest the good stuff. No matter what you believe, thinking about good things and looking at the moon can’t hurt! And if you believe in POWERFUL LUNAR HAPPENINGS it may just get you that deluxe penthouse apartment or new non-mildewed towels or replacement license plate you’ve been drooling of. Yes, drooling of.
VAN and JAM are, as usual, putting a lot of earthly pressure on these celestial movements. Let’s take that thought… OUT TO PASTURE in a new PASTURE-BASED metaphor section of the newsletter.
OUT TO PASTURE
Horses. Majestic creatures. Powerful. Graceful. The original luxury vehicles. Hooved n’ handsome, these four legged friends allow their human companions to sit high, move fast, and look cool. But when a human gets a horse, they also must get… a stall. And the stall will contain the horse, its food, water, bedding and…. a daily subscription to horseshit. If we want the gallop, we must also wield the shovel. If we want the high seat, we must do the low work. If we want to be happy and clear, we must create the clearings. The good stuff doesn’t exist without the mucking. Dream job? Muck the emails. Dream house? Muck the gutters. Dream relationship? You will always have to decide what’s for dinner and clean up. So, if you’re noticing your life currently whiffs of crap, maybe that crap is just a natural by product of one something beloved. Horses, for all their power, do not (spoiler alert) have arms and thumbs. So grab the rake, n’ count yer’ blessings in the messings. Your horse will thank you, your garden will thank you, and you can thank yourself for being the caretaker who earned your job.
Reminder: we are also soon to be... a Consumer Electronics and Home Appliance Retailer! We’re still in the hype-building phase. Which, Durango Mantlefromp (our new head of D’Initiatives) assures is us necessary. Are you DYIN’ to get in on the HYPE? Great news: you can come by the lobby and see first of our The 
ElectroClassics™ a micrrowave by Toshiba! (pictured). It is still without a price, because Durango insists that for a minimum of 40 days an item should be on the sales floor discovering its price, otherwise, we may end up feeling the scorch of “electric regret”. Can’t wait to see what The Queen of ‘Shiba (the microwave’s nickname) discovers she’s worth! (Our guess is about 35 bucks?)
Now THAT's The Dynasty Difference!™
🐎 ,
VanJam
