Dynasty Typewriter 5/4/18 Dynasty Typewriter 5/4/18

DT Moat Etiquette

Every week, we're receiving literally dozens of requests from talent and producers looking to bring new shows to our theater. An overwhelming and literal 31 percent of them have been asking about our moat policy: Can they build one? How deep? Predatory amphibians and/or fish: y or n? Do we provide drawbridge? Will we promote-moat on our social media or does that responsibility fall on the show producer? Why does castle have a T in it? Does our insurance cover moats? WE COULD GO ON... so, we will. Why limit ourselves in our own newsletter!? Must they chlorinate the moat water? How long can NON-chlorinated moat water be stagnant w/o attracting mosquitos? Can goats swim well enough for a goat-moat to be plausible? Goat shit in the moat: how to handle? Motorboats in the moat? Boats in GENERAL in the moat?

You asked, we answer. Our MOAT ETIQUETTE is probably the same as yer grammy's. "No deeper than 1 foot.Chlorinated. NO GOATS. 1 alligator w/ exotic animal license and proper onsite wrangler. YOU provide moat insurance, you promote-moat (promoat)? You can hear the "T" in castle if you're listening. Have fun!"

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Batty Darlings T-Shirt

$30.00

DYNASTY DARLING!™
“Batting 1.000” Tee
Some venues have ushers.
Some venues have security.
Some venues don’t identify as venues, because they understand they are more aptly categorized as transformative portals. Then they make a shirt with bats on it and tether it to a baseball metaphor that absolutely refuses to make sense.
This shirt honors all the batshit critters that make this portal possible.
Featuring a full back print of the official Dynasty Darling!™ bat squad in their natural habitat:
scanning tickets
distributing snacks
running tech
making magic
simply being darling

Front chest hit reads:
DYNASTY DARLING!

Back print reads:
“With Darlings Like These… Dynasty Is Batting 1.000!”

A shirt for staff, sweethearts, regulars, emotional support audience members, and anyone who has ever thought:

“Wow… these little freaks really care.”
Printed on a black tee
Soft yet strong enough to hold your torso gently

THE TÁSTBÜDZ™ “FLAVENTURE AWAITS!” TEE

$30.00

Your new favorite shirt has just slid down a flarpin’ rainbow and is ready to swoop over your noggin and gently puddle around your chest and back like a soft, wearable hug from a cartoon food item.

This garment boasts one (1) neck hole, two (2) arm holes, and one (1) grand lower portal for entering and exiting the shirt at will. You may sew any or all of these closed.
Support Dynasty AND good taste by sporting this cartoon fever dream straight from the DynaPop! vaults. The TÁSTBÜDZ™ — Pretz Michaels, Mrs. Buttergutz, and Em C — are back and ready to escort your torso on a full-blown Flaventure.

Featuring bold retro colors and a rainbow highway, this shirt is perfect.

Flaventure awaits, darlings!

TÁSTBÜDZ! Tote Bag

$30.00

How Do You Top Your Pop?

Dynasty is thrilled to revive our decades-old worldwide (but mostly suuuper Eastern European) animated property, the beloved (if infamous) monster-fighting munchies known as the TÁSTBÜDZ!

This heroic tote features the original cartoon crew in all their crunchy glory, reunited around a bucket of DYNAPOP! and ready to wage war against the bland, the boring, and the beastly. It's all they know.

Use this chic, minimalist, high fashion, runway ready tote to to:

Haul your gear (socks, empty balloons, jerky, unlit candles, special stones)
Join the snack resistance (it's a political statement. The statement is that snacks should exist.)
Unlock your latent battle powers!!!!!!!!!

Crafted from 100% Unpoppable Cotton™, this bag is strong enough to carry your groceries and the weight of your destiny and empty balloons and your newly potent battle powers.

In closing:

Reclaim the crunch.
Fight the flavorless.
And look chic doing it.

Taste is power. Pop is purpose. That’s the Dynasty Difference™.

Dynasty Darling Raglan Tee

$35.00

Nothing says “Dynasty Darling” quite like this tee that literally says those words. It’s a Raglan 3/4 sleeve beauty, appropriate for work, play, personal burial style, and more. Pair it with a cocktail for the perfect cocktail attire. Pair it with a teflon umbrella to break through glass ceilings! Pair it with boots to kick the shit! Pair it with a buddy to be a coupla darlings. Designed and printed in LA with you in mind, Darling.

Sold out

Mini Rat Bone Terrarium

$10.00

Finally a miniature ossuary you can feel GOOD about. These rat, mouse (and potentially shrew, vole, and mole) bones were ethically mined from owl pellets by two children who genuinely love to pick through owl pellets as a HOBBY, which means it is not child labor. They were assembled in house at Dynasty by adult humans, fueled by a neurodiverse hyperfocus that strikes at random. The perfect gift for the person who doesn’t have it.

These are very mini (less than 1” high!) and are picked and packed at random. Bones and moss colors will vary.

Dynasty Magnet

$5.00

Say hello to our Shoppe’s most POLARIZING item yet. These are magnets, and they do that “classic magnet thang” of marrying funk and function. Mini masterpieces that will cling to your fridge the way your parents’ clung to their career hopes for you. A magnet strong enough to hold up a historic document, open-minded enough to display a child’s sweet but crude art, and optimistic enough to pin a workout plan you know you won’t commit to. These magnets are so good you don’t even NEED to give them anything to exhibit. They are the show. Plus they’ll watch you come to the fridge over and over and won’t say a damn thing, unlike your judgemental (housemate, wife, husband, partner, Vrbo Regulars etc…)

Magnet size is 3"

Magnet strength is strong enough