TIG NOTARO! LARRY WILMORE! LAKE BELL! JUNE DIANE RAPHAEL! Music and readings and comedy and more!
Do what you shove and you’ll never twerk a day in your life
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Dynasty Dygest — October 24
ED HELMS! TIG NOTARO! ATSUKO! BIG HALLOWEEN SHOW AND PARTY!! and Scorpio tidings! 🦂
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Dynasty Dygest — October 19
SANDLER, DeVITO(s), MANTZOUKAS (singular), TIM MEADOWS, HALLOWEEN PARTY, n’ MORE!
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Hip-Hop ‘92 + Dejå Vu: A Dynasty Audio Companion
Hip-Hop ‘92 + Dejå Vu: A Dynasty Audio Companion
Hip-Hop ‘92 + Dejå Vu: A Dynasty Audio Companion featuring: GANG STARR • PETE ROCK & CL SMOOTH • BOOGIE DOWN PRODUCTIONS • FU-SCHNICKENS • ERIC B & RAKIM • GRAND PUBA • THE DISPOSABLE HEROES OF HIPHOPRISY • ULTRAMAGNETIC MC’S • BEASTIE BOYS ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT • DIVINE STYLER • DAS EFX ICE CUBE • KOOL & THE GANG • IKE & TINA TURNER THE TURTLES •JIMI HENDRIX • JAMES BROWN + MORE
2022 Calendar is Out Now!
Are your walls puffy?
Darlings,
Do you know what time it is? Likely! (Mad props to WATCHES, CLOCKS, and SUNDIALS.) But do you know what DAY OF THE YEAR IT IS and what days preceded this day and what days will follow it and what number-days line up with week-days? YOU DON’T. Fear not, WE HAVE CREATED THE PRODUCT/ PERFECT GIFT for this nearly impossible conundrum!!!
Unveiling… the DYNASTY 2022 WALL/FLOOR/COUNTER/SURFACE CALENDAR!!!!!!!!!!!
Because it’s like, what do you get the person who has everything? THE DYNASTY 2022 CALENDAR. Unless they are a super shady employee at PRINTCENTERUSA.COM they do not have it yet. CUZ IT JUUUUST CAME OUT. We literally HAVE NOT SHIPPED ANY AT THIS POINT SO THIS IS A REALLY SAFE BET.
The Dynasty 2022 Calendar is Perfect for:
Time nerds!
Comedy lovers!
Venue heads!
Wealthy CEOs who want to WaLk on the WiLd SyDe and show their wealthy guests they are still HIP.
Hamster owners!
Design freaks!
People who LOVE the performance scene in LA!
People who MISS the performance scene in LA!
Anyone who’s ever given you a shartstorm of a gift! This calendar is a growth opportunity. Show them how the season is done right.
Once you’re back in your seat (after the “standing O” you certainly gave this news) we’d love to take a moment to tell you about a UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY to make money from home (if your workplace allows teleworking) while organizing your days with a calendar.
What makes The Dynasty calendar different from other calendars? GLAD YOU ASKED.
Liberties have been taken with BORING MONTH NAMES
Multiple photos of your favorite performers EVERY SINGLE MONTH.
A Wall-Puncturing NAIL with every purchase!
Exciting NEW holidays that other calendars would be too SCARED to include!
It helps support a local theater that’s still trying to make sense of the universe in the midst of an ever-evolving PANDEMIC. ;)
One full, EXTRA, SECRET month!
LIMITED EDITION means that this can be considered an INVESTMENT! Will it pay off? TIME WILL TELL. And by its very nature, this calendar… TELLS TIME!
Some other calendars can only display on certain types of walls. :( We said FLARP THAT. The Dynasty 2022 Calendar is a beautifully SURFACE-INCLUSIVE addition to ALMOST ALL WALLS including: Buttressing walls, cavity walls, compartment walls, curtain walls, dwarf walls, and OTHER WALL TYPES.
Does your wall LOOK PUFFY???
Hang your calendar at an angle for SLIMMING DEFINITION.
Does your wall LOOK FLIMSY?
Thicken her up by hanging two or more calendars!
Does your wall size LOOK PERFECT?? Enhance perfection with an artfully placed calendar. (“Calendars are to walls what cherries are to Sundaes.” -Norman RockWall)
Worth noting: ANIMALS LOVE THIS CALENDAR!
Also, we realize that Dynasty Darlings (you!) come in all shapes and sizes and so do your dwellings! Our calendars look great and HANG WELL in APARTMENTS, MANSIONS, TREE HOUSES, MIXED USE ENCLAVES, WORK/LIVE SPACES, BASIC HUTS, COMPLEX HUTS, EMPLOYEE BREAK ROOMS, CASTLES, KIDS ROOMS, TEENS ROOMS, CONVALESCENT HOMES, FUSION RESTAURANTS, SYNAGOGUES, END OF DAYS BUNKERS, TOWN HALLS, JAIL CELLS, LOCAL HERITAGE MUSEUMS, DORM ROOMS (STUDENT), DORM ROOMS (RESIDENT ASSISTANT), EMPORIUMS, COMPETING THEATERS, FOOD SERVICE AREAS, WATER MAINTENANCE OFFICES, ROTARY CLUB SPACES, PUBS (high-end and low-end), PARLORS FOR HAIR, PARLORS FOR BEAUTY, SPECIALTY SHOPS, PARLORS FOR MAGIC, DEALERSHIPS of ALL TYPES, CONDOMINIUMS, OSTERIAS, CASINOS, BARNS, BOILER ROOMS, and did we say EMPORIUMS? If we did, GOOD, because EMPORIUMS are HOT RIGHT NOW.
A STORY OF TRUTH: Someone once got one of our calendars and put it up and then won OVER 1 TRILLION DOLLARS in a LOCAL LOTTERY.
Here’s an “An Imagine This™” exercise to promote the calendar. THIS TERRIBLE situation would only happen if you DIDN’T have this calendar. Imagine This: You’re hosting a dinner party (10 couples), and you put out a MASSIVE charcuterie plate that you’d been working on FOR A WEEK. People are really loving the spread. You overhear someone say “Wow.” You start BEAMING because you feel appreciated for the first time in a WHILE. It feels really NICE. One of the couples approaches you and asks where you got the perfectly curated selection of meats, vegan meats, cheeses, vegan cheeses, nuts, crackers, breads, and spreads. This is your chance to have a meaningful connection over work you did. BUT you forgot the names of the shops you used! You used 4 specialty shops that you’d never visited before and their newness combined with your social anxiety and general forgetfulness has left you conversationally IMPOTENT. But wait! You remember that you wrote down the location in your calendar! You go to find your calendar and realize - you threw it out because it was SO UGLY. Now your new friends have TRUST ISSUES with you because now they don’t know if your selection was ethically/locally sourced and HEIGHTENED SUSPICIONS ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER because… why would you just not know?! There are MURMURINGS around the party. People start leaving. One person tries to gag out the food because there is now a rumour it was poisoned. IT WASN’T! YUH-OH! If only you’d had the charcuterie place written on your Dynasty calendar, this would have all been avoided because you would have kept it because it was so pretty. And THAT’S THE DYNASTY (CALENDAR) DIFFERENCE™.
If this note wasn’t enough to convince you to put your CLICKER FINGER TO USE and GET YOUR CALENDAR, we fear nothing will be.
VanJam
Dynasty Did NEW YORK!?
Dynasty Did NEW YORK!? Plus Owen Wilson?! Plus Ron Funches & Blair Socci & DARRELL HAMMOND & Everything's Great! (the show and the sentiment!)
Darling babe-magnets,
How are you? We love to hear it! (We’re pretending you said “Great!!!” in response to “How are you?”) We’re doing well, living life, and grateful for all the easy things and learning to be appreciative of the inevitable GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES lady life lobs at us. Jamie and Vanessa went to NEW YORK CITY last week! The buildings are tall! The people? A delightful melange. The rats are brazen, yet not without their own charm. We put on a show at The Bell House (5 stars would recommend) and it was such a wild rumpus of joy! MICHELLE BUTTEAU dropped in, CHASE DUROUSSEAU hosted with unmatched enthusiasm, HARI KONDABOLU was a delight, JO FIRESTONE lived up to the fire AND the stone in their name (elementally wild, yet grounded!) WYATT CENAC did his first performance in YEARS and killed, JES TOM had a great set and ALSO a great Nirvana jam session with the band, and LARRY OWENS did what LARRY OWENS does and our deep affection for him grows with every performance, regardless of the coast. OhHhhhh the band. CHRIS ROB led the three piece band that was so good you’d just…. freak out and dance. Which everyone did. We are now looking forward to figuring out more ways to be more present in a city we love so much. Maybe we can be apartment brokers? We hear that’s a profitable racket.
And now, let us look to the future! You’re all so flarpin’ wonderful and it’s with that in mind that we bring you these offerings, made by dreamboats, for dreamboats. Sail away, babe. 🙌🧞♀️⛵️
THURSDAY 8 PM It’s BLAIR SOCCI’s Dear Owen Wilson! Based on a letter Blair wrote to Owen Wilson in 2007 after his suicide attempt telling him how much she loved him and appreciated him, the show will feature comedians reading a letters to the celebrities of their choice. Featuring.. CALEB HEARON, ROB HAZE, ATSUKO, DAVE MERHEJE, GRETA TITELMAN and RON FUNCHES!
FRIDAY 8 PM: The legendary EVERYTHING’S GREAT! Hosted by the trio with the mostio ADDIE WEYRICH, NICK KOCHER, and DEMI ADEJUYIGBE this show is full of all the good things: surprises, laughter, and it’s a veritable vibe machine. SOLOMON GEORGIO, MOLLY AUSTIN, LOU WILSON, + MORE!
SATURDAY all day and evening! Dynasty is delighted to host the in-person events for The WRITER’S GUILD FOUNDATION FESTIVAL! The schedule is bonkers and wonderful; including an advanced screening of Amazon Studios film The Tender Bar, an interactive hour with BRENT FORRESTER dedicated to writing The Comedy Pilot, and back-to-back panels with HBO Max’s Drama and Comedy showrunners. End the day with a night of enchantertainment curated by Dynasty Typewriter featuring MEGAN STALTER, CRISTELA ALONZO, LANGSTON KERMAN, WILL MILES, and MOSES STORM. Hot tip: Dynasty newsletter subscribers get 25% off virtual passes and tickets with the promo code: WGFRIENDS. All day pass here! Individual events here!
SUNDAY 7pm: DARRELL HAMMOND! Yes, THAT Darrell Hammond! The SNL alumni, master of impressions, and host of The Third Person Podcast is coming to Dynasty! Grab your seats!
TUESDAY 8pm: It’s Mitch & Drew and We’ve Never Felt Younger! MITCH SILPA and DREW DROEGE are wildly wonderful on their own… TOGETHER?! It’s gonna be a lottt… in the best way. Younger than springtime, and twice as exciting! Mitch Silpa and Drew Droege invite you to a fresh evening of relaxed pleasure, featuring the Two Old Queens Who’ve Just A Minute To Catch Up, plus a handful of newborn sketches. Dive in for rejuvenation!
We love you, come over!
VanJam
Photo Recap: JFL New Faces 2021 — Hosted By Pete Holmes
JFL Presents New Faces 2021 Hosted By Pete Holmes
Photos by Troy Conrads
Dynasty is BACK n' STACKED! July shows that'll make you go, "whooooahhh!"
PASSENGERS prepare for re-entry
Darlings,
Vanessa and Jamie here. Oh how we’ve missed you all so much! We are SO excited about our July reopening! We think the schedule speaks for itself- big, WONDERFUL, things are coming. And we’ll get to experience them all TOGETHER. We were going to write more… but last week, as we were cleaning out the theater in preparation for reopening, we found a box of books in our bunker. Inside were works by various Dynasty family members written on various Dynasty Typewriters.
One of them was a well-worn sci-fi paperback from 1961 entitled Suspended Orbit. As we read through, we couldn’t believe it. The story, 60 years old, felt eerily familiar and exactly appropriate. We hope you enjoy this excerpt.
We flarpin' LOVE you,
VanJam
🚨PS - We just released more tickets to MARC MARON and RACHEL BLOOM shows! 🤯🤯
Photo Recap: Dynasty Relaunch w/ Maria Bamford
We couldn’t have asked for a more lovely welcome back than Maria Bamford’s brilliance.
Last night was ✨ MAGIC ✨. We couldn’t have asked for a more lovely welcome back than @mariabamfordcomedy’s brilliance. Corn was popped! People were kind and grateful! We got to be TOGETHER. LIFE WAS SURREAL. Everyone got a Record of Re-Entry, we cried, and we recited an incantation... because Dynasty’s gone corporate honnnney. Thank you 📸: @troyconrads 🔥
Dynasty Re-Opening?! With BAMFORD?! MARON!? Yes. PLUS: I guess we’re HIRING!
Dynasty Re-Opening?! With BAMFORD?! MARON!? Yes. PLUS: I guess we’re HIRING!
Darlings,
SURREAL. Too good to be true? Too long-awaited to be NOT true? Too many emotions and none of them penetrating the pandemic shells we grew to protect us from collapsing under the pressures of the constant barrage of wild happenings of the last 14 months? YES, THAT. But, great news: these feelings/numbness are due to the fact that WE'RE ABOUT TO BE PUTTIN' ON SHOWWWWS AGAIN, FOLKS!!! (IN OUR PHYSICAL THEATER!) We'll get more to the emotions n' such in future correspondences, but let's just rip off the Band-Aid and get to what's coming up! Yowch n' yeehah!
NEXT WEEK our soft re-opening begins and we are thrilled to announce we'll be warmin' up our beloved venue with a warm up show with one of the planet's most beloved performers, MARIA BAMFORD!!! Maria will be dustin' off at Dynasty this Wednesday, May 12th at 4pm! We couldn't ask for a better (non-denominational) rechristening! Let us say this again... MARIA BAMFORD WILL BE PERFORMING FOR A LIVE AUDIENCE AT DYNASTY THIS WEDNESDAY.* 🤩 ❤️ 🥳 ❤️ 🤯
The soft re-opening continues MAY 17-25th as we are excited to be hosting several Just For Laughs New Faces Auditions!* Come see the next generation of top comedians and characters as they dust off their acts and hit the stage for the opportunity to perform at this years JFL Montreal Comedy Festival!
AND the NON-SOFT re-opening begins in July with MUCH to unveil. Our first unveiling? We'll do it right ding-dang-now. A MARC MARON residency kicking off on July first! Get your tickets now - pretty sure these are going to sell out quickly! Let us say it again... MARC MARON WILL BE PERFORMING FOR A LIVE AUDIENCE AT DYNASTY IN JULY.* 🤩 ❤️ 🥳 ❤️ 🤯
So... wow. From the most established and beloved performers to the new and be'crushed twinkling stars of tomorrow, we're fully excited to be moving into the very near future with enchanting offerings that will cause us to weep salty, salty tears onto our lap-corn, increasing it's flavor AND it's emotional heft. And making for an unparalleled soft-chew experience™.
Oh, we can't wait to delight you and be delighted. Speaking of both of those things, we are looking for Darlings to be engines and beacons of delight! Van wanted to put up UTILITY YEARNED posters, but Jam thinks HELP WANTEDis more straightforward, easy to understand, and generally less disgusting to say. (Van thinks the disgust factor is actually a really intriguing inroad to potential relationships, but had to concede that it was.. weird and likely not super effective.) Anyway, if you like what we do, like doing things, are a good person, let us know! We are looking for some new team members. Potential positions range from poptending' ticket taking night staff, social media manager, general manager and maybe more! Let us say it again.. UTILITY YEARNED! APPLY! 🤩 ❤️ 🥳 ❤️ 🤯
We still LUV the NET and here are 2 livestreams that we encourage THE ENTIRE WORLD to watch. (No proof of vaccination required, hun!)
TONIGHT! We have likely the last online DYNASTY CONFIDENTIAL! The show hosted by the most beautiful, talented and if the job requires, artfully ruthless man on the planet JOEL KIM BOOSTER listening to comics spillll secrets they've never told before. QUINTA BRUNSON, GRETA TITELMAN, SAM TAGGART, NORI REED, CALEB HEARON plus a rando with a freak-seec (freaky secret) from the internet. Babe. What's not to be obsessed with!?
TUESDAY everyone's favorite Jon Daly, JON DALY, is going to be 💰 GIVING 💴 AWAY 💵 CASHHHHHH (via Venmo!) 👏 Winning is simple. YOU CALL? YOU GET MONEY. JON DALY'S I VENMO U MONEY. Call during the show, or call before and leave a message. It's both weird AND straightforward.
Earnin' burnin' and yearnin',
VanJam
*All in-person shows will be be at limited capacity and all attendees must provide proof of vaccination.
